Sep 6, 20224 min read

Dream Checklist

It took a while, but here we are; another post for our blog!!!

I am pleased to share this journey with you. This is just a "short history" of how I started this crazy exciting plan of the sabbatical year, self-knowledge, travel, Pura, the blog and everything else in between.

Even though I still don't know exactly where this story is going to end, I thought it would be worth sharing with you; who knows, it might even inspire you! I do want to say, however, that I "totally" do not recommend it, it was so hard, but now that I’ve done it, I would do it all over again! If you're on this journey too, I'd love to share more with you, so leave me a message here, and we'll have some tea, even if it's virtual.

I wish you a beautiful day lived in the present and, with time to be happy!

Kisses and Love,

Renata

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- But what do you want? Do you have a plan?

My father asked patiently and lovingly during some of the many moments when I was complaining and crying unhappily at being trapped in that system.

I already knew it wasn't working. I no longer felt any reason to continue working for something I didn't believe in; I never liked watching television, never had that patience, books enchanted me, sports were always a passion, gastronomy, travel, geography, music, arts, biology, religion and so many other things interested me. However, I was there for 8 whole years producing costumes for television.

For a while, it made a lot of sense, there were many learnings and wonderful people. I had all these passions that I mentioned above; stories of all kinds, exciting, shocking, of terror, of love; not only the ones I was working on but many of them I personally experienced, nevertheless, in the end, I felt that the delivery was always the same; half-truths that did not represent me; mass alienation that I helped to produce with my art, drama ... perhaps, it weighed on my shoulders and my conscience for years until I realised the inevitable ... That it was not my place!

I had worked so hard to thrive in something I was passionate about, but when I finally succeeded and managed to stabilise things, it no longer made sense. There was a discomfort in me that could no longer be silenced by holidays, material distractions, or weekend parties.

- Where have we lost our courage?

A friend asked me this question, and at that moment, it was my work partner with the same dilemmas. We had the same rude bosses, one month's holiday per year, unemployment insurance, health insurance, the house mortgage, car mortgage, and all these prisons and alienations the system suggests to keep you there, even if you are unhappy.

These questions floated through my mind for years, pushing me to look for answers I didn't have at the time. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, not just in a professional way but in general. My doubts about my professional career became just the door for me to realise that I wasn't content with how I was living, eating, relating, acting and everything else.

I was already packing, putting things off; flat, furniture, car, and all the extra weight, and this question was still in my head; I felt as if I had failed as if I had not succeeded. How many times have I asked myself what was wrong with the job? Why move out of that city? What had gone wrong? Many times I slept with those questions, and many times I woke up without answers.

As time passed, I understood that nothing had gone wrong and that construction and deconstruction are processes of life and nature, and the more I experienced these processes, the more natural they became. The arrivals and departures started to be appreciated in the same way; endings no longer had the same weight; they became an exciting part of the journey. I learnt that the end preceded new beginnings, new people, and new knowledge. I accepted the obvious; that life is made of movement, change, and experiences; without this, it is only a count of days to death.

I have learnt that courage comes from the heart, and taking time to breathe and listen to its beat gives us back the power.

Well, I might not know what I wanted to do with my life; but I decided to make a plan to find out; that's how I made my sabbatical year plan.

I was a person with few plans but had many dreams and an unusual habit of making them come true. I used to say, "I didn't take dreams to my pillow; I liked them in my backpack."

So I made a dream checklist, a list of things I wanted to achieve. Do you know these dreams we have never disappear? We say they are retirement plans and will do them when we have time or money.